


a beautiful riddle

by sihaya13



Category: Farseer Trilogy - Robin Hobb, Fitz and the Fool Trilogy - Robin Hobb, Tawny Man Trilogy - Robin Hobb
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25525021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sihaya13/pseuds/sihaya13
Summary: Fitz and the Fool solve a riddle
Relationships: FitzChivalry Farseer/The Fool
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	a beautiful riddle

The fire had burned down, filling the room with an orange glow. The Fool was sprawled in front of the fire on a pile of blankets, limbs askew. The fire made his skin seem even more amber than it already had, as if something otherworldly was going on beneath his skin. Some power animating him, making him into something so enigmatic, so soft, so beautiful.

Fitz couldn’t help but stare. His face, once so unusual, was now so familiar, even though it had changed so much since they parted. He could still see the younger, paler Fool in the features of the older, amber Fool. That face which had taunted him so often, comforted him so often, saved him so often. He had to really pay attention to truly see the features of his face, for he knew the Fool so well that all he saw was his soul beaming out with trickeries and mockeries, laughter and tears.

His eyes were less pale now, too. Before they had been nearly colourless, visible only in the right light. Now, though he could not see them while he slept, he knew they were a pale amber. He had dreamed so often of the Fool returning, but he had not been prepared for _this._ This tenderness, this soft, enchanting beauty. No longer just his boyhood friend. Another part of his soul, reunited.

Fitz didn’t really understand what this meant. This longing he felt when he watched the Fool sleep by the fire, bathed in an amber glow, long hair coming undone from its bindings and falling over his face. All he knew it is was something new, something different. He felt it should frighten him, but all he felt was peace. Calm. Home. The kind of peace he had never felt. The kind of home he had never had.

Suddenly he could see the amber of the Fool’s eyes, sparkling in the firelight.

“Watching me sleep, Fitz?”

Guiltily, “I suppose I was.”

The Fool tilted his head. Fitz couldn’t read the expression on his face, but he felt like he was trying to see into his soul. To peer into a place he hadn’t been before. “Nothing better to do?” the Fool mocked gently.

Fitz felt something melt away. He couldn’t lie, not this night, not to this Fool. “You looked so beautiful in the firelight.”

The Fool’s eyes widened in shock. A small smile spilled over onto his face. Fitz could have sworn his cheeks flushed pink. The Fool, blushing over him. Oh.

“You’ve never called me beautiful before,” the Fool said softly. No longer were his eyes seeking out Fitz’s. His gaze was lowered, hiding. Dancing on a precipice of hope he had lived on for many years, he was scared now to look over the edge.

Fitz shrugged. How could he explain that even though he knew his soul had been joined to the Fool’s for so long, he hadn’t known it for what it was. How could he put into words feelings he didn’t know he had. “I didn’t have the words.”

“Oh, Fitz.”

Fitz had been uncertain until this moment that the Fool would understand. But he could not help but see the expression on the Fool’s face when he called him beautiful, watch his cheeks colour, see an uncontainable smile at the thought of Fitz finding him so.

He had to make sure, though. Uncertainty always dogged his heels, making him question whether what he saw was true, whether people loved him or wanted to use him. “And what do you think of me, Fool?” It took all of his bravery to look up, to look at the Fool while he asked, to will him to know what he was really asking, and wait with such trepidation while the Fool found the words to answer him.

The Fool had hesitated. He had not dared hope that Fitz would ever ask such a thing of him. He was scared that he was hearing the question he wanted to hear, rather than the question that was being posed. He was scared of the hundreds of futures he had seen running through his mind, not one of them preparing him for this.

But Fitz looked so soft, in his cabin in the middle of nowhere. In the home he had built for himself out of the ruins of every torment that had ever been inflicted on him. In the home he had welcomed the Fool into without question, despite the years that had passed. He had never looked like this with the Fool. Never so unguarded, so hopeful, so entirely at peace. All of his pains forgotten, his heart open to see. Content.

“Oh, Fitz. I have loved you since before I met you.”

Fitz stopped breathing. Without thinking, he crossed the room and got down on the floor in front of the fire. The Fool had never looked so vulnerable, not even when he was a small, pale, translucent child. Fitz reached out and took the Fool’s hand in his. “I did not realise it, but I have loved you for far longer than I realised.”

He leant forward and kissed the Fool softly, briefly, before pulling away to look into his eyes. His heart raced, and his stomach fluttered. “I didn’t know this was possible.”

The Fool smiled. “What is and is not possible has never stopped you before.”

Fitz smiled and lifted his hand to the Fool’s face, drawing him near.

In front of the dying embers of the fire they stayed awake all night. For the first time, neither held anything back from the other. No one was on guard, concerned with keeping their secrets. Neither was scared for their life, no terrors haunted them by night, no responsibilities chained them apart. Safe and secure in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, both felt at home.

Watching the sun rise through the curtains, Fitz thought to ask a question he had not dared ask before. “It feels strange to keep calling you Fool, after all this. Will you tell me your name?”

“I will. I would say you should know that to know my name is to know my soul, but you already do. My name is Beloved.”

Fitz’s eyes opened wide. “Oh,” he said softly.

“Oh?” the Fool, Beloved, asked with a gentle smile.

“Well. It’s just, I don’t quite know how to put it in words. But now that you’ve said it I feel like I’ve always known. I just didn’t know that I knew.”

“That, dear Fitz, is a riddle reminiscent of me.”


End file.
